He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize