Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
