I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Is Oprah even human
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
