I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
