You really coming over, don't trick.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
