butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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