OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
someone owes me an orgasm
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
