my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
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