i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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