Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
