Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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