Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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