That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize