I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
