your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
