She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
