He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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