my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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