By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
