operation harelip BJ is a go
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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