Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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