Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
