Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
