SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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