I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
