Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize