she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
