She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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