Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
