I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
