I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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