My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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