Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
