Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize