i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
