Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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