I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
