You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
