you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
