it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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