One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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