Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize