My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
