my mouth tastes like poor choices
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
