found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
