In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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