No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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