Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize