You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
