I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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