Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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