How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
