I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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