dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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