She is in my trunk
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
