I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
