i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
