He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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