I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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