You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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