I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I CAN MOONWALK!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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