Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Randomize
